learning to live

I was three years old when my brother was born. My unwavering love for him is the first emotion that I remember feeling. After he was born, I was no longer the center of attention in my family. My first vivid memory of him wasn't him in the hospital or even at home. He wasn't depicted in my memory. However, it showed my pure love for him at the tender age of three. I was standing in the hallway outside of our rooms. It was late at night and I am pretty sure that he was already asleep. I was wired, bouncing off the walls so far into the day. My mom was there, holding a voice recorder. She taped me singing a song about my love for my brother as I danced in the small hallway. There was nothing but sheer happiness and joy all over my face. I was as pure and innocent as I would ever be in my life. I stopped singing in front of people as I grew up and I never wrote another song that I actually liked. I'm sure that I was aware that I was not good at singing, but I didn't care....

Collateral beauty is by far my favorite phrase to always go back to. It doesn't matter what your religion is or what you look like, you can always spread beauty throughout the world. I strive to spread positivity and never tear people down, but that is just the way that I view beauty. Beauty can be portrayed as happiness and love. It can be physically describing the state of the Earth or a person. Everyone has the opportunity to share and spread their definition of beauty around where they are. Videos in which one person's good action leads others to follow can instantly inspire me. You see people doing good, whether its buying someone's drink or helping someone with a task. Why doesn't everyone follow that example? Why don't people just step out of their comfort zone and take a risk? Why can't I find a way to help someone? By taking a step back and uncovering the positivity, you can refocus your intentions and truly discover a way to be a part in the collateral...

People think from what they see that I swoon at any new guy in my life. They are under the impression that I am always that one that is interested and trying to move faster into a relationship. While they are mistaken in their overall belief of me, they are right about some things. I admit that I will look at someone being friendly and think that they are flirting. I admit that I overuse the word "cute" and that I am a hopeless romantic. I admit to having fallen for lies in the past and believing the wrong, even learning to forget the moments that tore me to my core just because of a small romantic gesture. Nevertheless, I am no longer where I was. I have grown to look at everything before walking towards the lies and false advertising that is everywhere. This is a list of 10 reasons why I said yes to him... He looks at me in sweats with messy hair as if I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He gives me strength and motivation to continue pursuing what I am pass...

Someone screenshotted their grades as they sat at a hundred in the first few weeks of the second semester. They captioned it by saying that they needed to document that they were at one point very high. Upon seeing that, I knew that I had to say something. I am a perfectionist, and at some points in my life it has had an extreme impact on my school life. I was not satisfied with anything but a perfect score. However, high school has entirely ch anged my perspective. For example, I know that with the test that I took today, my grade in AP HuG will not stay at a 100. Nevertheless, I am not stressing about any of it. I know that I put all of the effort into studying and that's all that matters. One grade may seem like it can define your future, and in some cases, it may. In the end, the only thing that matters is how hard you tried. There is a future for you, and there is no good that comes from stressing yourself out. If you let your stress and anxiety become physically and mentally...

Relaxing is a good thing, take the time to heal. Distract yourself by doing something you love. Try to avoid negativity and encourage positive vibes. You can't do everything you want to. Learn to accept that. Take your brokenness and turn it into motivation to improve. If you need help, always ask for it. Put your pride behind you. Try to stop stressing, it won't help you accomplish anything productive. Know that there are people thinking about you and praying for you. Listen to your favorite music and create an atmosphere that you want to be in. Surround yourself with happy people that will make you laugh until the time flies by. The surgery was done to help you; eventually you will be stronger and healthier than you were before. Don't slack on your physical therapy or instructions, it sets you even further back.

Thank you Rob for putting me up to this... After this whole post title started as a joke, I began to research emotional showers because I knew I had to write something. I learned that emotional showers are a serious thing that some spas have. They are proven to stimulate the senses, relax the body, and provide an overall strength. However, the color changing, aroma chambers are not exactly what I am writing about. Most everyone has seen the music videos or videos in general where people stand there and let the water rush over their face as they bawl their eyes out. Nevertheless, there is a whole different side to becoming emotional while showering. Last year, I was talking to some of my friends joking around about showers. One of my friends said that they liked to make the water scalding hot and just sit there and be angry at the world. Another friend said that she just stood there and forgot about all of her problems. I knew that showers were always more than just to clean your bod...

Most people head into the new year with a list of things that they are going to do, whether it be a fitness program or a crazy diet, everyone has something. However, I want to flip it. I don't want to have a schedule of exactly what I am going to do; I want to think of what I could have the possibility of achieving. You eliminate the feelings of defeat and failure when you can't stand to withhold your long list of things that have been shoved into your already crazy life. Think of your goals and write them down. View them as an opportunity to become the better version of yourself, but don't view them as a chore. The moment you change your perspective, you will be motivated to make your dreams a reality. Wake up early to work out because you want to grow stronger, not because you have to stay with your regiment. I know that I can physically not achieve all of my wild ambitions, but that doesn't slow me down when I look at what I can do in a week, month, or year. Take it...

I wrote this review for my English 2 H class project and thought I should share it. I loved Cut Me Free  and would highly recommend to any teenager that wants a scary book with a little touch of romance. I would rate it a 10/10 because of the creative writing and presence of suspense. It perfectly fits the fall into  winter season and is a great book to do a project on or just read for fun... Cut Me Free  is a novel written by J.R. Johansson about the complex life of a seventeen-year-old girl named Charlotte as she tries to start a new life for herself after escaping from her abusive parents. In the process of finding a new identity, she meets a boy named Cam. The sparks fly, but it is one-sided. Charlotte's fear of loss and sharing her past trauma with innocent others makes for an obstacle in their exploration of love. A relentless man that desires something, or really, someone that Charlotte has taken from him eventually leads a chase, not only for hate but for b...

"If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today." - E. Joseph Cossman Anxiety is something that a lot of people struggle with, especially those who are constantly in stressful situations. However, the act of being anxious, stressed, and worried can be somewhat avoided. Finding some sort of outlet such as playing ukulele or even surfing the internet can help you to calm down. Often, these certain outlets can also distract you from what you are trying to do; this is why it is important to get into your zone. Asking others to help you remove distractions from your life can be a successful tactic to increase focus. Nevertheless, it needs to be you making the decision to change how you manage stress and stay organized. Take this quote to heart and truly think about what it is implying.

A nxiety in every situation you are faced with B uying food and drinks from the vending machines to get you on a sugar high C ollege begins to sound crazily close  D riving becomes more of a necessity than an added bonus E xercise is ignored in all ways, shapes, and forms F ootball games are the best times of  the week G iving away countless hours of sleep to keep your grade away from an F H olding yourself accountable for your mistakes I gnoring the drugs, alcohol and sex surrounding you J eopardizing you future in every question that you answer K ill my self is an overused phrase L ove turns into PDA M ilk any benefits that you are given, extra credit should always be a priority N ever are you prepared for anything, no matter how hard you study O SS is to be avoided at all costs P hones become almost illegal and dress code is more intense Q uitting high school is a serious consideration R unning to class when you hear the sprint bell S pir...

I thought that I had seen our school spirit at it's finest. but I was wrong. The last game of the season against Nation Ford was truly the most spirited event by far. Almost our entire school was present, cheering in the bleachers and throwing pink powder in the air. The environment was extremely energetic and crazy, with students, parents, and teachers running in every direction. I believe that the excitement and carefree atmosphere was the cause of my injury. With everyone running in every direction, I got hit by a senior. He hit my right shoulder, twisting and shoving me to the ground. The resulting injuries were a dislocated and skinned knee along with scraped fingers and a lot of pain. While it wasn't anyone's fault, I honestly believe that I am always in the wrong place at the wrong time. The boy that hit me had no intention of knocking me down, and the injury didn't change my opinion of the night. I still loved the football game because of the collective sense of...

6:45am Wake up 6:50am Eat breakfast and have Bible time 7:10am Get dressed and pack stuff up for school SCHOOL lasts from about 8:00am to 3:45pm because I go in early most days to socialize or go to club meetings. It also is beneficial to take time to go get help from teachers in the morning. Classes are 90 minutes and there are four of them along with a 30 minute or 1 hour lunch called FLEX. 3:45pm Drive home 3:55pm Change into comfy clothes and take off any makeup 4:00pm Either cook and eat dinner or wait for my dad to bring takeout home 5:00-7:59pm Work on any homework, help my brother with his work, or catch up on any TV shows that I missed 8:00pm Write for blog if there isn't anything super important I have to do 8:45pm Go exercise in my room or downstairs 9:30pm Start winding down and cleaning up room and school stuff 10:00pm Read stuff for school and cram for tests the next day because you memorize things better right before you go to sleep. 10:45pm Go to sleep ...

All of the following apps can be downloaded free of charge  AUDIBLE This app is perfect for long book projects in which you do not understand the text. Audible allows you to purchase and listen to audiobooks. It is especially helpful if you are an auditory learner and need to listen to a book to understand it. YOUTUBE If you don't want to spend money on audiobooks, YouTube usually has some form of audiobook or in depth summary you can watch and listen to. YouTube is also amazing for finding a crash course to listen to on a particular topic. Bus rides can become more productive with this app. TRANSCIBE Slow typing can be a problem of the past if you download this app. By reading or saying something that you want to be typed, Transcribe will type it for you. Google Docs has a similar feature, but I find this app a little simpler to use on a frequent basis. Transcribe uses less time when used correctly and can save you in tight situations.  PHOTOMATH I cannot express how ama...

1. NAVIGATE A CORN MAZE 2. VISIT SCAROWINDS OR A HAUNTED HOUSE 3. GO PLAY PUTT-PUTT 4. GO PUMPKIN PICKING 5. SNUGGLE UP AND WATCH A HALLOWEEN THEMED MOVIE 6. STARGAZE AT NIGHT 7. BUY AND EAT FALL TREATS 8. MAKE CARAMEL APPLES 9. GO WINDOW SHOPPING 10. BUILD A SCARECROW 11. BAKE A PIE 12. HAVE A FALL SCAVENGER HUNT 13. TAKE A WALK OR HIKE 14. BUILD A HUGE LEAF PILE 15. PICK OUT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR EACH OTHER 16. GO HAVE A COZY STARBUCKS DATE 17. BUILD A BLANKET FORT 18. GO TO A FOOTBALL GAME 19. ROAST PUMPKIN SEEDS 20. HAVE A NERF GUN WAR

My favorite fall memory was from last year. My best friend was over at my house studying and we decided to take a break. I had promised one of the neighbor girls that we would go collect all of the leaves in the street and make a huge pile. When me and Emma went outside, she was there waiting for us. It took us a few hours to get all of the leaves together, and by the end of it, we were standing knee deep in autumn leaves. Even as a middle school student at the time, I was able to enjoy the simple things and build a leaf pile. Around that time, I had also injured my finger and was required to have surgery. My left arm was in a cast, as you can see in the picture and it was hard for me to do a lot of things at that time. Building this pile may seem stupid and minuscule, but really lifted my mood at the time.

I am usually running late every morning so I have perfected a list of quick and delicious lunch options. There are a lot of unhealthy frozen meals you can grab on you way, but I have found some healthy lunches that you can throw together in under 10 minutes. 1. MICROWAVE QUESADILLAS - I love Mexican food, and I do not think I'm the only one. I am always making tacos, burritos, and quesadillas. My favorite go-to lunch is a cheese and black bean quesadilla. Just have everything easily accessible in the fridge. Put it together quickly and leave it to microwave for 30 second to 1 minute as you grab all of your things. 2. FRUIT AND VEGGIE BENTO BOX - Salads are one of my least favorite foods. However, there are many other ways to enjoy your vegetables and fruits. Usually on Sundays, someone in my family will chop up all types of fruits and vegetables. All I have to do when I'm packing my lunch is grab a little of everything and go. Not only is it really healthy, but the separation...

WARNING : This post only got written for a handful of people to read. Many people look at me and see someone who is naturally gifted in school. They see the grades on my projects and quizzes and tests, but that is all that they see. No one has ever seen behind the grade. They don't see me when I'm up late at night cramming for a test, or when I'm at an event on my phone typing an essay. They don't see the work that goes into everything. No one notices the coffee that I drink when I haven't slept. The headaches and complains go unnoticed as people assume that I am faking for attention. School may be easy for some people, but for others, including me, it takes time and effort to get an A. Others spend their time playing sports and doing other things such as band, while I spend my time studying and doing other things. I get questioned as to what I spend my time doing at night and then scoffed at when I honestly tell them. I use my time to work on myself and my stuff,...

Fall is a beautiful season and I strive to make my room just as beautiful as the season is. I keep certain elements of room decor in my room the same throughout the year, but I have some things out solely for fall. I have discovered a few inexpensive crafty items to add to any room for the months of fall...    CHEAP FALL LEAF STRANDS I found my autumn themed leaf strands at Urban Outfitters, but have also seen them at Michael's and Hobby Lobby. If your room is really small, the leaves may transform it slightly into a courtyard. Nevertheless, it really adds a largely visible touch of fall to any space. If you want the same vines as I have, this is the link: https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/ginger-ray-decorative-vines-set PUMPKIN PAINTING My mom and brother actually bought some pumpkins at Trader Joe's for other purposes, but I'm the one who chose to use them as decoration. Most stores sell pumpkins for really cheap and any paint should work to decorate them. You ...

Fall can be described as the season in which everything changes. It's the time for hoodies, pumpkin spice lattes, candles, and falling leaves. However, leaves are not necessarily the only thing falling. I've heard fall used to describe falling motivation and GPA along with the leaves and the temperature. There are many reasons to dislike fall, but there are many more reasons to appreciate fall. First are rainy days that bring a sense of serenity and peace as you spend your day curled up inside. The wind gusts that fall brings are also a thing that is overlooked. You don't get into winter without fall, as it joins spring as a season transition. Halloween is in fall, along with festivals,  pumpkins, warm drinks, and comfort food. Fall makes you thankful for the little things with Thanksgiving and truly extenuates the season of giving. I don't have a favorite season, but if I had to choose my top two, fall would definitely be included. Not only is it the season o...